Manifesting A Life Of Freedom & Fulfillment
Those who know me know that the last thing I would ever do is brag about myself in the spotlight. I understand this is hypocritical to say when I have a website all about me, but I want to share my story. I hope that through my story, you can can resonate and see what’s possible for you as well.
I used to be stuck in a 9-to-5 job that wasn’t fulfilling, which led to poor sleep and drinking habits. Now I get to wake up whenever I want, choose which projects I want to work on, and help people live better lives.
I used to struggle with dating because I lacked confidence and emotional intelligence. Now I have meaningful relationships where I can own up to both my strengths and flaws and be expressive of what I want or don’t want.
I used to be jealous of entrepreneurs and freelancers who seem to have the power to think things into reality and everyone would love it. Now I’m an entrepreneur who’s manifested a whole new reality in which I get to choose the projects or people I want to take on while working with plant medicines and coaching.
The point is, this life of freedom and fulfillment didn’t just land on my lap. I created it. I developed self-agency and self-efficacy to clarify my dreams, work through obstacles, and prepare myself so that I’m able to lean into the opportunities that did show up for me.
But like I said, it hasn’t always been this way..
I Kept It All Suppressed
I grew up watching my parents and grandparents argue and bicker every day. I watched my father wrangle with finances, gambling, and get-rich-quick schemes. I watched my mother struggle with communication with English as her second language. I watched my grandparents sleep in separate rooms, not having an outlet to connect deeper with each other to process the trauma they endured escaping the Viet Cong and Khmer Rouge in the 80s.
Everyone around me was carrying so much yet had no support to help them let go or heal so they can thrive rather than survive.
My family would never have admitted that they were unhappy. They would never show sadness, regret, or vulnerability. Maybe it’s all they were taught. Maybe it’s their way of staying strong for their kids and not burdening others. Maybe they didn’t have the language to express otherwise.
Whatever was taught to them, I also picked up. I learned to keep all my weaknesses, discomforts, and worries buried. Much like them, I didn’t want to concern others with my issues. I wanted to prove I can be a strong, independent man and take care of it on my own.
On paper, I did. I graduated from a top university without my parent’s money, started a lucrative career, and even bought my own house and car. I made amazing friends and was able to travel to 15+ countries in my 20s…all on my own dime. But only in hindsight did I realize that I was missing something, and that emptiness took a toll on my performance at work and in my personal relationships.
Don’t Show Your Face Here Anymore
It all flipped upside down when I was blindsided by a call from my manager.
“Hey Victor, I talked with our client, and they don’t want you to come on-site anymore. Effective immediately, you’re off the project. We’ll have someone pack up your things for you to pick up later.”
“I can’t even come grab my things?” I asked, still in disbelief of what I was hearing.
“No, it’s probably best if you don’t show your face here anymore.”
At this point, I was having an early brunch with a coworker, thinking it was just any other day. And sure, I did get into an argument with our client the day before, but I thought it was just a minor miscommunication. Apparently, it was not minor.
I drove home incredulously and tried to replay the conflict in my mind to see what went wrong. At the time, I thought I handled it quite well. Only later was I able to recognize and admit that I didn’t behave intelligently with my emotions. I didn’t take ownership over my mistakes, nor was I communicative about what I needed help with. I let my ego get in the way, thinking I had everything under control. I took advantage of the autonomy they gave me, unaware of how my actions were impacting the rest of the team and their progress.
Surrounded By People, Yet Lonely
Needless to say, my career was falling apart and I had nothing else to help instill confidence within me other than the material things I accumulated in my external world.
I was lonely, unable to find a girlfriend for more than half a decade. I was social, drinking with friends every weekend, but every time I came home, I was in the same internal mess I was all too familiar with.
Numbing my pains also numbed my joys. When people asked what my passions were, I drew blanks. I would have never considered myself “creative.” I would do the bare minimum to get through the day while wasting an unhealthy amount of time on porn, video games, and social media.
I knew something was missing, but I didn’t have the resources, people, tools, or courage to do anything about it.
How Cannabis And Psychedelics Transformed My Outlook
I read a blog post by The Angry Therapist about how he was able to help people better as a life coach instead of a therapist. Having tried therapy myself and seeing it wasn’t for me, I resonated with his new approach. I signed up for his certification program, which instantly gave me access to a wide network of coaches, counselors, therapists, and entrepreneurs.
After many hours of providing and receiving coaching from my peers, I was able to reframe my history and circumstances towards a more empowered outlook while also giving me the courage to write my own future.
Along the way, I shifted how I was using cannabis and psychedelics towards introspection rather than an escape. I found cannabis meditation teachers and communities for psychedelic integration to learn about the medicinal benefits of these substances.
Plant medicines, meditation, and coaching helped me break out of the shy, goodie-two-shoe kid I was. They destroyed the limiting beliefs I had about my capability to start a business and help people. No longer was I beholden by my circumstances coming from a lower-middle-class family, or my identity as an Asian American man. They gave me permission to feel, to play, to create.
I’ve received a calling to guide others on their journey. If you can see yourself in any part of my story, do your future self a favor and reach out. This is an opportunity for you to ignite a radical transformation in your life into one that is open to more meaningful possibilities.
My Plant Medicine Teachers And Coaching Education
- International Coach Federation (ICF) accredited life coach with 70 hours of coach training and 200 hours of coaching experience from Lumia, founded by two former therapists, Noelle Cordeaux and John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist).
- Over 10 months of experience as a Psychedelic Integration guide with Mindbloom.
- 3-year member of Evryman men’s groups and new member of the Nectara community.
- Tutelage under cannabis teachers Collette Patricia from Balancing Cannabis and the Cannabis Coaching Institute (founded by Wake and Bake’s, Corinne Tobias).
- Tutelage under psilocybin teacher and guide Chi from Mushroom Tao
- Third Wave intensive training in psychedelics for non-clinical outcomes
I Used To Want To Save The World…
When I became a life coach, I admit, there was a part of me that wanted to “save the world.” But now, I’m not here to “rescue” anyone.
I even remember one of my friends criticizing the fact that I wanted to fix everyone else’s problems. I knew I wasn’t a messiah by any means, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t go into this field of work thinking I could uplevel all of humanity with coaching.
I still believe in the combination of life coaching, emotional intelligence, somatics, mindfulness meditation, and plant medicine to be critical in improving individuals and society as a whole.
But I no longer feel the need to convince anyone about the effectiveness of this work. It will either resonate with you, or it won’t.
I would be honored to partner with you and the spirit of plant medicine to accelerate your journey towards manifesting your goals.
I’ve created many free resources for you to get started on your own emotional growth journey. Check out the links below for my blog, podcast, and guided meditations. There are also links for paid resources if you’d like to accelerate your growth together.