In this episode, I talk to Anne Beaulieu, a financial emotional intelligence coach, about her journey going from managing millions of dollars in the financial world but still feeling unhappy to being an international speaker, author, and coach.
She now combines her financial background with her coaching experience and helps people develop a deeper relationship with money so they can attract more of it in a way that is meaningful and still invokes happiness.
Listen on other streaming platforms at http://anchor.fm/victorung.
Here are some quotes from Anne in the episode:
Anne’s Journey Into This Work
“That’s when I realized that I was intellectually smart. But when it came to emotional intelligence, I was an idiot.”
Well, emotional intelligence as you know, it’s a big subject that will take hours to get into. But in this context, something that everybody can understand is emotional intelligence. It’s truly understanding the difference between our wants and our needs. That’s it.
If I were to ask you what is one qualifier that you could attribute to your childhood, someone might say, happy, someone might say challenging, someone might whenever they might say, for me, that qualifier is terrifying. I was terrified as a child growing up. So I went inside my head very young.
And by the age of eight, I made a drastic decision that I would intellectually be so frickin smart that I would overpower anybody around me so no one would ever hurt me again.
That’s pretty scary for a child to make that. But many parents would say this is great. She was academic. I took it to such a level. I had the grades and certifications, the kind of man a brain that could learn.
And it sounds great. But what was my intent? My intent, as I said it was to protect myself against the world. So I became smart out of survival. That’s terrifying. There was nothing about serving or being of service to others. It was, quote, unquote, the world’s a bad place. And it’s me against the world and all that crap.
So I lead my life, like that. Got married, the white picket fence. In the eyes of everybody, we had it all. But I was severely depressed. Obviously, with a mentality like that.
And not knowing why I needed to wake up, but to wake up, we need somebody. Cause to wake up on own, it’s either the pain becomes super great that we have no choice and we hit rock bottom. And then we make a change, or we meet somebody who facilitates this rock bottom for us. And we wake up.
So I met such a person I called him Morpheus, if you’ve ever seen the Matrix.
So and that’s what I realized what I was, the rose colored glasses were off. That’s when I realized that I was intellectually smart. But when it came to emotional intelligence, I was an idiot. I’m going to become emotionally intelligent, whatever it takes. And that’s what led me on the path.
The Resistance To Feel
“In order to ‘have’ we need to ‘be.’ So I needed to get real with myself.”
If you have ever seen the movies where they deprogram somebody that has been in a cult, my cult was violence.
At that moment, I made a decision. In a split second, I let go. I saw what I had done to myself to the people around me how small I had played. And all my rage came out, everything that I had and felt that I suppressed that I intellectually had justified. I had to feel it. I had to refill everything in my childhood.
For me, it was realizing that love for me was a concept. It was like, I did not know what love was, what it felt like. I did not know how to love how to be loved. I was that kid looking in wanting what other people had. Why did they have it and I couldn’t?
I had to feel. But what I was feeling was pain, because pain was what I had been taught. So I was afraid of my own shadow. I was afraid of my own pain but yet I wanted deep, meaningful relationship with others. I was full of shit!
Because nice people suppress their feelings in order to please others. But all those feelings are not processed. Where do they go? They get stored into the physical body until their process. This is how people one day snap and they do stupid stuff.
Why EQ Is Important
“Because the blockages is never intellectual. It’s emotional. And an emotional problem requires an emotional solution.”
We must feel EQ is about feeling the difference between our wants and our needs. Our wants are in our heads, it’s the rationalization. No one’s ever been happy saying, “I should want this.”
In the past, success was how much money I had in the bank, how many diplomas I had, who I was married to. I was so shallow.
But it was what society had taught me, that success was straight A’s and all that crap. I had all these diplomas if I had felt into them, would I have done that many? Oh, no. No, I would have stopped.
So for me right now success is very simple. It’s feeling 100% of the time. Is it possible? Probably not. Sometimes I go into my head.
But here’s the difference. In the past in the last two years, I’ve written 30 books. It sounds crazy. How did I do that? And that was the girl who said, I don’t know how to write. I’m no writer. And I now write for Forbes and many other places.
In the past, when I would sit down and say, I’m going to write an article, I would overbook. I would intellectually try to work through it and it was so painful, sometimes slow.
The mind goes at it with a will. And that’s very limited, because the mind is only limited to what it knows, which is a grain of sand in the speck of eternity. But the feeling, it’s boundless.
So before I sit down and I write, I feel into it, I see the story before it is written. I can’t explain it. And I can write 1100 words in an hour, which is insane for me. I know, some people can do more. But for me, it’s the epitome of success.
Knowing that all our decisions are done emotionally first. We reference the beliefs and memories, we validate ourselves. So by feeling into it, we get to make better decisions. Once I get the feeling, I take that action. Cause I’m confident in that action.
And if I don’t know, if I’m confused, if I’m in place of doubt, I’m not downloading anything, what’s going on? I go see my mentor. I need to unblock a blockage.
I am a financial emotional intelligence coach. So I assist people to emotionally welcome money into their life and multiply it and because a lot of people don’t want to talk about money.
I can navigate those pathways because I’m not afraid of them. I have entered the cave of my demons. I do it every day. And one of the reasons I do that is because I want to assist my clients, not from my head place, but from a heart place. Because the blockages is never intellectual. It’s emotional. And an emotional problem requires an emotional solution.
Resources:
- Learn more about Anne and her resources at: http://walkinginside.com
- Connect with her at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-beaulieu
Get access to a free 90-min Emotional Intelligence 101 Training at: http://victorung.com/eqtraining.
Join the Facebook Group with other like-minded EQ nerds: https://www.facebook.com/groups/humanup.
If you’re a reader, clap for my writing on Medium: http://medium.com/@victorung.
If you want to be on the podcast, visit: http://victorung.com/podcast.