Hey, I’m Victor Ung.
Everything was looking great for me on the outside. Got into a great college, started a promising career in tech, bought a house, bought a car, made amazing friends along the way. What was still wrong with me?
I got comfortable. Then I got complacent and lost sight of a future I would be happy with.
Ironically, what I wasn’t comfortable with was being me at full capacity, out of fear of being rejected.
I’m not here to complain, or to seek attention, or to show off all the “cool” things I’m doing. I’m here to break us out of the antiquated traditions and the limiting beliefs that have been holding us back from what we want out of this life. I’m here because I want to see a world with more people who have come alive doing what they want to do, not just what they’re told to do.
What Led Me here
“I was tired of being told to ‘man up.’ But why don’t we all ‘human up’ instead?”
Growing up, I allowed other people to influence me and how I should feel or behave. I thought that to be a man, I had to act like all the other boys, tough, macho, less emotional. And every time I showed feminine traits (to clarify, not female traits, but of the feminine energy, something we all have), I would be made fun of, called “girly,” over-sensitive, all with the connotation that I was a weak man.
That has contained me to the point where I decided it’d be better to just keep everything to myself. And because of that, I hit a quarter-life crisis, where I woke up and realized that I was not comfortable with where my life was heading, staying hidden and quiet all the time.
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before as well. The constant message that men have to “man up,” be tough, avoid crying or showing weakness and emotion. And even though the intention behind this message is valuable in terms of getting your s**t together, it ignores the fact that we are human, we are going to feel things, whether it’s “manly” or not.
As social, emotional beings, our next level up is learning how to increase our Emotional Intelligence (aka emotional quotient, or EQ, which I’ll use for simplification). Yes, I’m bolding that because.. emphasis!
And emotional intelligence is not just something men need to work on, it’s something all humans need to work on.
Our minds and our emotional intelligence is the next frontier to explore. Humans have a good idea of our how our bodies work (more or less), but way less so on how the mind works.
One thing that we forget is that, just as we work out our physical bodies, we also have to work out our minds to develop healthy thought patterns. We need
Our Society is Hurting
As I experience more of this life, I realize that this world is deeply hurting from not being able to communicate with other people and especially with our own minds. We say the worst s**t to ourselves, things we would never say to anyone else! And it could be from a lack of EQ.
It is definitely getting better today, but there’s still not enough education on how to improve our Emotional Intelligence. The mainstream is polluted with waste, greed, materialism, capitalism, self-centeredness, egoism, and scarcity. There’s not enough positivity or optimism out there and it’s taking a toll on our productivity, satisfaction, feeling of fulfillment, our relationships, our human potential and creativeness, and most importantly, our mental health.
If you couldn’t already tell, I’m tired of it. I have tons of plans for what to do about it, but for now, I am acting as the messenger, gathering the knowledge, tools, wisdom, and expertise of those before me to present to the rest of us.
I Write, I Podcast, I Make Videos, I Partner With Others on Their Personal Development
Now you might still be asking, What are you trying to do, Victor? Create the perfect, omniscient being that is always happy, successful, fulfilled, healthy, satisfied, passionate, and never sad, stressed, worried, anxious, angry, nor fearful? Yeah, right. It’s impossible to completely get rid of any negative emotion, or just be able to force positive ones on demand.
Well, that is absolutely true, reader-who-I-projected-my-counter-argument-on. We all know there’s always something wrong with utopias. But I’m not looking for perfection, I’m looking for progress.
I’m looking for how we can best educate ourselves with the right knowledge and experiences that will let us look back at our old selves and be proud. I strive to maximize our time spent with positive emotions, while learning how to minimize (not completely get rid of) the negative ones. I want the best tools that will properly equip us to handle anything that comes our way in the future.
I collect these strategies, test them out for myself, and share what works and what doesn’t for me, hopefully giving you insight on how to improve your own life. I write on this blog (and also here, here, and here). I podcast about the journey here. And I work with people 1-on-1 to really dig deep into your specific struggle with
Now is the time, more than ever, for us to put our real, honest, and raw selves out there. To let the world know who and how proud we are. To show everyone that we are capable of extraordinary things. It’s time to human up.
Whew, OK, I’m gonna step away from this podium here. Drank too much passion this morning.
What to expect from this site
I hope to use this platform to document everything I learn about Emotional Intelligence, how to improve it, and the best methods to put into practice.
Everything we do and experience initially starts with an emotion and we need to be able to manage them in a way that doesn’t hinder our progress and enjoyment of life.
Here, we’re going to learn to respond to our emotions rather than simply react to them, so that we don’t accidentally say what we don’t mean, or do something drastic and irreversible. We’ll learn how to develop meaningful relationships with both ourselves and others. We’ll put ourselves in the right situations and in the right mindset in order to net positive and create abundance.
We’ll explore the difficult and profound topics, make some corny dad jokes, nerd out on TV shows, video games, books, and find practical ways to improve ourselves. Join me on my travel across the land, searching far and wide to be the very best (had to put that lyric in there).
If you feel so inclined, leave a comment or message me on Instagram with what you thought. I’d love to hear your feedback! You can also hear what I sound like on my podcast, or watch me on YouTube (will get back to uploading soon).
Subscribe via the form below for more posts. Expect a new one about every other week or so. Talk to you soon!