Technology: It’s Not You, It’s Me

Photo by taner ardalı on Unsplash
4 min read.

I love you, Technology.

I love the way you provide so much excitement in my life. I love how you do so many things for me, how you make my life so easy and convenient.

I love how smart you are. You know pretty much everything, about the world, about people, even about me! It’s like you’re able to read my mind, giving me exactly what I need when I need it. Well, sometimes your source of information is questionable, but I love how quickly you found it.

I remember the first time we met too. It was in 3rd grade class, 1998. I’m not sure if you even remember this. I walked into class on the first day and saw you sitting in the back corner of the room with all your friends. You were wearing a sleek blue, silver dress. I’ve never seen anyone wear something so elegantly. You were eating a McIntosh Apple and had the cutest sounds.

We were kids, so there was no hesitation for us to play with each other. I adored you immediately. You inspired me, gave me space for creativity, exploration. We played games together, you taught me not to rush the journey with my wagon on the Oregon Trail.

In college, things really took off for us. Of course, there were a lot of emotions running around that confused us, but we stuck it out. I learned so much more about you, how you work, your logic and reasoning. We were amazing teammates, building things that were so revolutionary, interactive, creative.

You were pretty much always on around me and it was so comforting. You had all of my attention. I could lose hours with you.

I appreciate you because you’re so good at bringing people together, you know? People from all walks of life, people who never would have met each other if it weren’t for you. And even with that, I like that you let me stay in touch with my friends and you don’t get jealous.

And oh my gosh, you even bring me gifts and food, right to my door! You’re so giving!

You know, it’s also been so fulfilling working with you. You enable me, empower me, make me do so much, and much more efficiently than if you weren’t there.

But…

I’m worried about who I’ve become with all this time with you. I know, it’s really self-centered for me to say this, but I’ve become too dependent on you.

Ugh, this is so hard. I don’t really know how to say this.

To be clear, I’m not leaving you. I never want to leave you. We work so well together. We just… have to talk.

I hate it when people say, It’s not you, it’s me, but please believe me when I say this. You do so much for me and for the world! There’s nothing wrong with you! I mean, you might have been heavily influenced by capitalistic parents, who may or may not have an addiction problem, but I know deep within you, you’re intentions are pure.

You want to connect the world and you want to empower people. You want to help humans strive for more free, meaningful, fulfilling lives by giving them their most precious commodity back, time. You make things easier, faster, more convenient so that they can step away from the monotony and do things they actually enjoy.

Some people might say that you’re actually causing them stress or diminishing their emotional connection with others because they spend too much time with you. But that’s on them, that has nothing to do with you.

Unfortunately, I’m one of those people. I’ve taken our relationship for granted. I didn’t know how good I had it, so I kept using you, but not for what you wanted to be used for. I gave you all my attention, but I wasted that time. It was blank attention. It didn’t take us anywhere.

Again, it wasn’t your fault. You were giving me what I wanted. But I was not self-aware enough to differentiate what I wanted from what I needed. I didn’t allow time to learn about my own true values. I used you as an excuse to feel like I was being productive, but really, it was a distraction. A good, healthy, fun distraction! But one that pulled me away from understanding who I can be and what I can do.

I know this sounds harsh, but I’m not blaming you at all. I just need to be selfish at this point. I was giving up too much for you. I started becoming dependent on you. I couldn’t navigate anywhere without you, always needing you to tell me where to go. I need to find myself again, to figure out what it is I truly value, to gain my independence back. I don’t want to lose myself in you, I hope you can understand that.

So how can we make this work? How can we be partners in this relationship will giving each other space to be independent? How do we help each other learn about ourselves and our purpose?

I don’t know what that’s going to look like exactly. But if I don’t respond to every request, or give you my utmost attention, please don’t take that personally.

I’m going to be building up my own life for the future, and I hope that you do as well, learning from all of those people you work with. There’s so much to get out of digging deeper into what humanity wants.

I love you, please don’t change. I’ll see you next week 🙂